So your kid has come to you and expressed interest in cosplaying. I'm sure you have a ton of questions and hopefully some of this will help. If you have more questions that were not answered here you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Disclaimer: I am not currently a parent, however, I started cosplaying when I was 15/16 and have been cosplaying for over 15+ years now. I think I bring a unique perspective as someone who both started cosplay as a kid and continued into adulthood.
1. What is "cosplay"?
The easiest explanation is that the term is a combination of the words "costume" and "role-play". The term has been around since 1984 and started in Japan when fans would dress up as different fictional characters. Think of it as performance art. Many make their own but it is not required to do so.
Other cosplay-related terms:
crossplay -- means cosplaying as the opposite gender. Similar to cross dressing.
gender-bending -- taking a fictional character's design and making it the opposite gender. (aka female Batman)
masquerade -- this is the cosplay contest and "cat-walk" show. Normally done on the Saturday of a 3-day convention and is usually the largest event at the convention.
furry -- a animal that has some human-like features; generally, mascot-style costumes.
2. Is cosplay safe for my child?
This is probably the most concerning question and the good news is yes. Cosplay itself is safe. There are always going to be some concerns which prompt some very good conversations to have, such as:
Should your child go alone or with a small group to a convention? -- I recommend going to the first couple of conventions so you can make this determination for your own comfort parenting level. Usually any type of rule you would have similar to them going to a concert.
What is your social media policy with your kid? Have you had conversations about how to handle inappropriate comments? Have you helped them keep their profile private to only friends?
Is there security at these conventions? Yes and no. There's security but they are not police/cops. The most they can do is kick someone out.
Do I need to worry about creepy people? Creeps are everywhere but no more than in normal life. Talk to your kid about how to say no for photos (totally normal for cosplay). The community itself is very accepting and will usually help out anyone who looks uncomfortable, but they should know how to get out of an uncomfortable situation.
3. What is a "con"?
It is just shortened for "convention", these are events that are held to celebrate anime, comics, video games, science fiction, etc. You've probably heard of Comic-Con in some capacity. There are different conventions all across the world, usually a quick google search will show when these events are.
4. Will my kid be the "weird" one at a convention if they cosplay?
Nope! Actually, there are tons of people who cosplay at conventions varying experience levels. It's not all "pros" so no worries there either. The cosplay community is very welcoming and kind 99% of the time. There will always be jerks, but there's a real sense of community between cosplayers. Even more so for cosplayers from the same series.
5. Do they have to make everything or can they buy a cosplay?
You can do either, it really depends on time and desire. However, both are considered "cosplaying". Some internet snobs say it's only cosplay if you make it yourself, but that is not true. Actually, buying their first cosplay is a great way to find out if this hobby is something they will stay interested in or if it's a passing fad. I will say that making it yourself can be very rewarding but not everyone is ready for that yet.
6. How expensive is all of this?
It depends. Like any hobby, you can choose pretty expensive materials and tools or do things the harder (more manual) way. For making a clothing cosplay you don't need too much to get started: needle, thread, seam ripper, fabric, fabric scissors, and sewing pattern. Other accessories will add to the cost: wigs, shoes, and makeup. However, I will say that it's not a "sunk cost". I wear my cosplays to as many cons as I can before they fall apart so I get my money's worth.
I would say that you can also work out a deal if you're financially able to. I've seen other parents work out extra chores to boost up their allowance. Also this is a GREAT way to teach financial planning, fiscal responsibility, and smart shopping.
7. How can I help? There's so much information out there!
The 3 simple things you can do:
1) Go to conventions with them -- this directly shows your support and acceptance of their hobby. You can help hold their phone/bag while fans take pictures. Your simple presence can be very comforting as conventions can be a bit of sensory-overload.
2) Help them make their cosplay -- my mom helped me sew my first cosplay and it was a great bonding experience.
3) Ask them about it -- ask them about the series that they want to cosplay from. Why did they choose that character? What part are they working on now? When is the convention? Etc.
I know there's a TON of information about how to cosplay, but there are so much better quality sources out there now then there was when I started. Some very established cosplayers (Kamui Cosplay, Punished Props, Kinpatsu Cosplay) who have BOOKS that teach how to do a lot of the crafting pieces for cosplay; so this could be a great gift idea.
8. Are there any benefits to this hobby?
Other than the obvious one of learning to sew, cosplay really helped me socially. I was a pretty shy kid but having a safe space to step out of my box really helped me connect with people. I usually choose characters that have a personality trait that I wish I had or is more out-going. I think it brings a lot of the same benefits as theatre does in general for such as:
Time-budgeting skills -- need to get the costume done on time for the con.
Motivation & commitment -- need to finish the costume, and it can be hard.
Creative problem-solving -- turning a cartoon into a reality takes problem solving skills to make it a reality.
Communication skills -- they'll be talking to a lot of people about the series they are cosplaying from. If they compete in competitions, then they need to be able do an effective "elevator pitch" for all the work that went into making the cosplay.
Self-confidence -- this is subjective, but it was very true for myself and many other cosplayers I know.
9. I just see a bunch of skimpy costumes and I don't support that!
** Not all characters are "skimpy", here are varying levels of skin exposure **
I know that you may look online and see just a bunch of scantily-clad ladies and might be concerned about your child cosplaying. However, being in a revealing costumes is not what cosplay is all about. Yes, some people want to choose to wear that however, even if the original character has some skimpy clothes, you can alter them to your comfort level.
For example, below is my 1st cosplay of a character from a video game. I wasn't comfortable with how short her skirt is, so I (my mom mainly) made the skirt longer and I wore dancer tights. Those tights were completely opaque so I could have taken that skirt off and you would not see anything. We also chose to to make the top cover a bit more of my chest.
10. I still don't support the idea, how can I tell my kid?
Honestly, this will depend on how you normally communicate with your child. I will say that you should think long and hard on what specifically you don't like about it. Is it too expensive? Are you concerned about their online presence while in cosplay? Are you worried that they will be ostracized?
I hope I eased your concerned about most of these concerns. The cosplay community is extremely accepting but consider it a win that your kid came to you to talk about it to get permission and include you. If you're curious on what I'm advising for how kids should talk to their parents about wanting to cosplay here is what I'm saying.
Well, I hope this was put in a way that is easy for someone to understand who doesn't know much about the community. I hope this helps answer any lingering questions you have to help close the knowledge-gap between you and your child. If you have any questions not answered here, feel free to send me and email (link below) and I'll get back to you ASAP!
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